{"id":3536,"date":"2021-01-12T16:27:20","date_gmt":"2021-01-12T16:27:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ata-divisions.org\/FLD\/?p=3536"},"modified":"2026-04-12T04:12:08","modified_gmt":"2026-04-12T04:12:08","slug":"polishing-english-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ata-divisions.org\/FLD\/2021\/01\/12\/polishing-english-style\/","title":{"rendered":"Polishing the Style of Your French-to-English Translations"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>
Photo credit: Khunkorn Laowisit via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\"\"<\/a>By Kate Deimling<\/em><\/p>\n

How do we know if a translation is good? Most people probably think of accuracy<\/strong> first, but we shouldn\u2019t forget about style<\/strong>. Of course, a translation must accurately reflect the meaning of the source. But the way it expresses this meaning is also important.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Photo credit: Vitor Koshimoto via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The style should always be tailored to the context and the audience: a marketing text needs a certain kind of writing, while an international development report requires a very different tone. Style is especially important for writing that wants to inform and convince: to convince someone to buy something, to convince someone of an argument, or simply to convince them to continue reading! After all, the reader will close the book or navigate away from the screen if they don\u2019t feel engaged.<\/p>\n

Here are some translation strategies for dealing with common features of French style, along with tips for efficient revision. For this post, I\u2019ve cherry-picked points from a talk I gave at the October 2020 virtual ATA conference. Examples are all from my own translations.<\/p>\n

Creating Contrast with Si<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Si<\/em> is a very common connector word in French that can be translated a variety of ways. When si <\/em>is used for contrast, the word \u201cif\u201d is a lot weaker in English, and alternatives will make a stronger impression. Here\u2019s an example:<\/p>\n

French:<\/strong> Si<\/strong> la Baigneuse est un sujet traditionnel de la peinture et de la sculpture, Picasso l\u2019investit d\u2019une mani\u00e8re toute singuli\u00e8re.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Photo credit: Fiskhumla (Creative Commons license via Wikimedia)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

English translation 1:<\/strong> While<\/strong> the bather is a traditional subject in painting and sculpture, Picasso treated it in a very unique way.<\/p>\n

English translation 2:<\/strong> Although<\/strong> the bather is a traditional subject painting and sculpture, Picasso treated it in a very unique way.<\/p>\n

English translation 3:<\/strong> The bather is a traditional subject in painting and sculpture, but<\/strong> Picasso treated it in a very unique way.<\/p>\n

These are all acceptable choices for translating \u201csi,\u201d though the second two versions are probably more common in US English.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t \u201cBury the Lede\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Photo credit: Elizaveta Kozorezova via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cBurying the lede\u201d means hiding the most important information later in the news story, instead of emphasizing it at the beginning. Here\u2019s an example where the translator should move the essential information to the front of the sentence in English:<\/p>\n

French:<\/strong> Au fil des ann\u00e9es, sous l\u2019impulsion de ses directeurs et de ses ing\u00e9nieurs qui, sous l\u2019influence du terrain et des chantiers, ont cr\u00e9\u00e9 leur propre champ de recherche, le LRMH a grandi<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

English translation:<\/strong> The LRMH has grown <\/strong>over the years, spurred on by its directors and engineers who have created their own field of research through fieldwork and major projects.<\/p>\n

Reordering sentences improves the translation more often than you might think. Here\u2019s a sentence from a report on young people and the internet. It took me some time to figure out how I wanted to rework it for a stronger effect in English:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Photo credit: Sharon McCutcheon via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

French:<\/strong> La n\u00e9cessit\u00e9 de mieux comprendre le rapport des jeunes \u00e0 Internet, aux plateformes et aux r\u00e9seaux sociaux appara\u00eet d’autant plus forte dans la p\u00e9riode actuelle<\/strong> o\u00f9 les mesures de confinement li\u00e9es \u00e0 la crise du Covid-19 impliquent une utilisation plus grande des outils num\u00e9riques.<\/p>\n

My initial translation followed the French sentence structure:<\/p>\n

English translation 1:<\/strong> The need to better understand young people\u2019s relationship to the internet, social media, and online platforms appears even more crucial in the current period<\/strong>, when isolation measures due to the Covid-19 crisis involve increased use of digital tools.<\/p>\n

When revising, I thought this sounded a bit stilted. So, I asked myself: how would this sentence read if I saw it in an English-language report? I decided to rearrange the relationship between the two key elements: \u201cin the current period\u201d and \u201ceven more crucial.\u201d This is what I came up with:<\/p>\n

English translation 2:<\/strong> Today<\/strong>, when isolation measures in response to the Covid-19 crisis have increased the use of digital technology, it is more crucial than ever <\/strong>to understand young people\u2019s relationship to the internet and social media.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s the Best Way to Revise for Style?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Photo credit: Ketut Subiyanto via Pexels<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Does this mean we should revise our translations over and over again to perfect their style? No. With tight deadlines and a demanding workflow, this just isn\u2019t practical. Plus, you can tinker with a translation forever without coming up with a single \u201cright\u201d version. So, how can you approach revising in a way that\u2019s both effective and efficient?<\/p>\n

Here are a few tips:<\/p>\n