Rooted Far from Home: What I’ve Learned About Preserving Culture and Language in Expat Families

Illustration: Carina Worsley

Revision: Lynnea Hansen

Twenty years ago, I moved from São Paulo, Brazil, to New York City. I still remember how lonely and disorienting those early years were. As an immigrant, I felt like a fish out of water, adrift in an unfamiliar culture, unsure of where I belonged.

As human beings, we’re wired for community. Our culture shapes who we are—our values, our unspoken codes, our sense of self. In Brazil, I never had to think about these things. They were part of the air I breathed. But living abroad, I became hyper-aware of what I had lost. I often thought of families with young children and how much harder it must be for them to hold on to their roots while adapting to a new world.

As an educator, I realized that one of my callings here was to create a space that wasn’t just safe and nurturing for the children of Brazilian expatriates, but also a place where families could connect, form friendships, share stories, find support, and build the kind of community that raises children. Because raising a child, especially far from home, truly takes a village.

Fifteen years ago, I founded GIRAFAS, a Portuguese immersion preschool rooted in play, connection, and culture. Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing how powerful a community can be in preserving both the Portuguese language and Brazilian identity in children growing up abroad.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is this: the key to maintaining native language and culture is not perfection—it’s consistency, intention, and heart.

Families who are clear on why it matters for their children to speak Portuguese tend to stick with it, even when it gets hard. And it does get hard. Life in the U.S. is fast-paced, English dominates almost every space, and children, especially once they enter mainstream school, often resist speaking a language they don’t see reflected around them. They’re eager to fit in.

But when families have a strong “why,” it becomes easier to stay the course. For some, it’s about keeping emotional bonds alive with grandparents and relatives in Brazil. For others, it’s a deep desire to pass on the joy, humor, and richness of our traditions. That sense of purpose becomes an anchor.

Over the years, I’ve connected with so many inspiring families. But the first families that joined GIRAFAS will always hold a special place in my heart. It was beautiful to see how they built lasting friendships and a sense of community right here in the middle of busy New York City.

These families were intentional and committed. They didn’t just drop off their kids and hope for the best; they participated. They spoke Portuguese at home, read bedtime stories, sang songs, and used FaceTime with relatives in Brazil. When their children resisted the language, they responded with patience and creativity. They organized playdates, community gatherings, and even trips to Brazil. They didn’t just talk about culture; they lived it. Children don’t need to be forced; they need to feel that their culture is alive around them, and is not just a side note. They need to feel proud of it.

One story that moved me deeply came years later, when a mother sent me a video her teenage daughter had created for her application to LaGuardia High School. In it, the girl presented a self-portrait: her image framed by the vibrant flora and fauna of Brazil, creating the shape of the Brazilian flag in the background. She spoke proudly about her roots and how Brazil’s nature and culture shaped her identity and made her feel like a queen, just like her mother.

For this mother, who grew up in the Northeast of Brazil, her “big why” was clear. She wanted her daughter to stay connected to her “mainha” and “painho,” to feel the love of extended family, to know the freedom of running barefoot outside, and to grow up savoring the tastes and stories of home.

At GIRAFAS, we built a strong sense of belonging. That feeling of being understood without having to explain is what helps children feel proud of who they are. When they see other children speaking Portuguese, eating “pão de queijo,” dancing to Brazilian music, they feel seen. And that, in turn, strengthens both language and identity in the most natural, joyful way.

Preserving this identity in a foreign land isn’t about resisting the new, but about embracing both contexts. I’ve seen families weave their Brazilian heritage into their lives here, raising children who feel at home in more than one culture.

I never set out to become a cultural ambassador. I just wanted to make this city a little less lonely for families like mine. But in doing so, I’ve learned that we don’t merely pass down our culture and language—we live them every day, in community, with purpose.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR – Mônica Rocha

Mônica Rocha is a Brazilian educator and the founding director of GIRAFAS Play & Learn, a Portuguese immersion, Montessori-inspired preschool in New York City. With over two decades of experience as both an immigrant and early childhood professional, she is passionate about building community and helping families preserve their language and cultural identity in a different country. Mônica holds a bachelor’s and a master’s degree in Early Childhood and Special Education, as well as a Montessori certification.